|To sum up what I learned this holiday season...
||[Dec. 27th, 2006|02:13 am]
|||||dad`s in richmond||]|
|[||Right now I'm feeling:
|[||Song of the Moment:
I think the hardest thing to do in life is to initiate, maintain and ultimately loose relationships.
Who should we choose to let into our lives initially? Should we seek people out or expect them to magically appear?
When time and distance, or other events, separate two people, what happens then? Do you maintain the relationship, or let it slip away? When is "not enough time" a sad reality, and when is it an excuse for the fact you have nothing in common anymore? How can you care so deeply for people, and hold memories of time spent with them so dear to your heart, but be faced with them and have nothing to say?
I feel this Christmas has brought me closer to some people, reaffirmed relations with others, and effectively ended other relationships. How much of that was me failing, and how much of that was fate? Mom, Jessica, Jerico, Cassandra F, Jon, Kyle, Timshel, Miranda, Duncan, Stephen, Chantelle, Darci... The list is so uncomprehensive yet already it is so very long. I love everyone I know and ideally would love to be close to everyone, to have things in common with everyone, to spend time with every one. But there is just not enough time in the day for that to even be feasible. So I am stuck making decisions. Some concious, some not. Some as a result of a deliberate thought or effort, others decided for me by a social fuck-up.
There's a lot of cliches out there about relationships: Friends come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. We are all missing pieces that yearn to be part of a larger whole, but as we grow, that whole will always change; we have to learn to roll with who we are and only then can we roll with others. La dee da.